Just When I Needed You Most

Dear Charlotte,

Hey, How are you?

How are you there... in the place which i dont know where is it?

Are you okay?

Do you life happily?

Do you eat well?

Do you sleep well?

Do you still... dont love me?

Do you know? I still miss you here

I miss you more, than i missed you before

I need you more, than i needed you before

I love you more, than i loved you before

How about you? I hope you have some feeling with me

I really hope that.

With Love,

Randy Clapton

I look at my 100th letter which i made for you in this 3 years. Where i must send this letter if i dont know where are you now? I sigh. And then, i think about you, again. I think about you,when you cooked a food to me and when you say goodbye to me when i went to my workplace or ... when you talk about me about your plan suddenly.

I remember when you came to my side before we sleep.

 

“ I want to separated with you” you said that, with a serious expression and of course, i really suprised with it.

“ What? why? Am i have do something wrong? If like that, please tell me what is my fault to you, Dear” I said it, try to become meek.

“ Nothing wrong, Randy. I just ... dont love with you anymore”

I stopped talking.

I struggle for something to say, but i can’t

“Just dont bothered me again, Please?”

And i still silent

“Tomorrow,i will pack my stuff. I am too tired now and i want to sleep. Good night.

“G-good night” i started talking, and i try to sleep.

 

And the morning is came with the cold rain. I stared at you. You still packaged your stuff. When you go out from our home, i stared at the window. I really want to say something with you, but i cant say anything. And i saw you left in the rain without closing the door and of course, i didn’t stay in you way.

And still now, most every morning i stare out the window and i think about where you might be.  I go to the mailbox infront of my house and check the mail in it. Hope there is a letter from you.

I am waiting for your letter.

I am Waiting and waiting

1 years, 2 years, 3 years.

One day, i writing the 163th letter for you and i want to keep it in mailbox as usual. And while i open the mailbox, i found it

I found one letter. Your name is written in it.

Yes, your name.

Kenny Charlotte.

I am so happy! I happy because finally your sent letter for me! I really can’t wait to read your first letter for me.

And slowly, i open the letter

Dear Randy,

How are you?

I hope you okay there

Do you miss me? I hope you miss me, because i miss you so much

And i hope you still love me too. beacuse till you read this letter, i still love you and this feeling will not change.

I am sorry because i left you that day.

But, there is a reason behind that.

In that time, before i left you i got a dangerous diseases.

And i don’t tell it to you

Because i don’t want to burden you

I don’t want you to spend your money just for take care of me

I dont want to see you cry when i looks in pain

Of course,

I want you stand beside me in my last time

I want you accompany me to go through bad time

I want you to entertain me, and make me still smile

But, your happiness is more important

I don’t want to happy, if i should see you sad

I don’t want you look at my weakness

And finally, i decided to left you

I don’t care if i regarded as bad girl

As long as you are happy

I am sorry

There is one more thing that you should know about it.

When this letter reaches you.

I have died.

I wrote this letter as a farewell greeting

So you will not wait for me again

And hope for me again

Thanks for everything you have given to me

Goodbye.

With more love,

Kenny Charlotte

 

I dont say anything after read your letter. I cant believe what happen now. This is impossible. You cant die. My eyes look glassy. I look at the envelope and there is a sticky notes in it. That sticky notes is contains an address. I immediately packed up and go to the address. When i arrived, a woman which have short hair accidentaly go out from this house and i ask to her about charlotte. She smile and take me to funeral. My feeling is start not good. We enter the funeral and i found your name in one of tombstone in that funeral. And from that, i realized it.

You are gone.

Suddenly, i am cry. Cry a lot like a children in your tombstone.

Why this happen?

Why you leave me?

Why i must lost you?

Hey, charlotte.

I miss you, now and before

I miss you now, and i missed you before

And i will miss you too in future.

Finally, i hope you rest in peace

I love you.

Good bye.