I Lost Him, Found Me

I LOST HIM, I FOUND ME

One year ago, I met someone that I love in senior high school. We both love each other. We support each other in any way. Like other couples, we also always together, walk together, eat together and do anything together. The days I spent with him were very pleasant and I was happy with him.

Until that day come, now we are in 3^rd  grade  who are very busy studying, to face the exam. We only focus on learning and I feel our relationship is starting to stretch because of the lack of communication. The days passed, until finally the farewell day arrived, the 3^rd grade students scribbled on each other as a sign of graduation. I was busy coloring my friend's clothes in the field, and at that moment he came to me. He said there was something he wanted to say then invited me to speak together in class. My feelings began to falter, we kept silent. Until finally he said, "I graduated at the University of Indonesia". It turned out that my hunch was right, I was shocked to hear that. I am happy and sad at one time. I am glad he graduated outside Sulawesi but I realized that after this he would be far away and surely we had a long distance relationship. With a heavy heart, I congratulate him. Then he asked me where I graduated and I answered I graduated at Halu Oleo University. He congratulated me but my heart was touched by his words and only responded with a thin smile. I asked him, "then how are we?", I saw doubts in his eyes and then he said, "Do you want to commit?" he asked, sure. I'm confused by what he said, "do you mean?" only that can get out of my mouth. "yes we take care of each other's heart", he answered lightly. Actually I was very unprepared for this situation, our relationship before this farewell was stretched especially with him who would later go that far.

After the incident, my days began to be different, different. Before he left for Jakarta he once said that he would often send me e-mail, but after the beginning of the college year he began to rarely and never even sent me e-mail again. I tried to think positively that he might be very busy as a new student. Now my days without reporting have started to be normal, my feelings for him are still there because he once told me to commit to me. Until I had the opportunity to visited Jakarta because of a competition  where I was appointed to represent the University. I am happy because surely I will meet him there and can spend time with him.

When I was in Jakarta, before the competition tomorrow we were given the opportunity to take a walk to Kota Tua. I  and my friends enjoyed the beauty of Kota Tua. Until when I want to take a bicycle to get around. But I saw people who had wanted to met me while renting a bicycle too. With a very passionate heart I approached him. But my steps stopped when a girl came to her and she greeted her with a sweet smile. I frowned at not understanding this incident until everything was clear when he held his hand and stroked her hair. Time feels so slow when they smile at each other happily. The time was so painful when I wanted to let go of longing and fine grains began to wet my cheeks. I ventured to approach them, yes of course this was very disappointing. "Hi, how are you?", I said. He looked at me in shock and I read his eyes like saying how could it be. He was just silent, I smiled as much as possible to hide my disappointment but it was impossible, "your college is going smoothly?", Yes I know this is useless because he just speechless  and looks at me with a look of remorse. Then I said goodbye and went to home because it felt heavy and could not be stopped anymore. Disappointed? Of course, how can someone you trust damage the trust itself.

The competition day arrived. Honestly, I was very unfocused because of yesterday incident. My mind was everywhere. I was given responsibility and trusted by the University for this competition but the results were chaotic. I mostly daydream and fail in this competition.

We returned to Kendari. Everything is over. I thought with myself to Jakarta that I could cure my longing for him, in fact it wasn't like that. He broke his promise and I was stupidly believed too much in his words.

After that incident, I changed the way my mind.  Sometimes a breakup is actually the best thing that can happen to a person. It certainly was for me. I have been through a few by now and after the sadness subsides, I always grow, evolve, and come out stranger and smarter than ever. Losing love changed me for the better.

‘’I can not undo

What I have done;

I can not un- sing

A song that’s sung

And the saddest thing

About my regret

I can not forgive me,

And you can not forget’’

Members of group:

ANDRIANO -  A1M218013

WAODE CHUSNUL KHATIMAH – A1M218071

DWY BALQIS EKA PURNAMA – A1M218079